Calories don’t count if you eat standing up. click to enlarge Quantity Old Price: $24.99 Price: $24.99 You save: $0.00 Updating cart... Product Code: AP32 Product Tags: apron, Related Products Real Men. Dont use recipes The 3 Rules of Barbecue 1.Open a Beer; 2.Down the Sucker; 3.Screw the barbeque. Dinner is ready when the smoke alarm goes OFF I’m the Chef. That’s Why! Born To Shop. Forced Cook. WILL GRILL for SEX. Grill Sergeant The kitchen observes the 5 SECOND RULE: If its on the floor for less than 5 seconds, ITS STILL GOOD!